• EssentialCoffee@midwest.social
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    6 months ago

    Being told that you should expect comments from random strangers based on your clothes is kind of creepy, tbh. Why can’t people keep to themselves?

    • hedgehog@ttrpg.network
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      6 months ago

      Talking to people about shared interests isn’t creepy. Calling any form of socialization creepy is pretty cringe, though

    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      What you’re looking at is the difference in people’s social comfort. It isn’t creepy to be social at all, unless you do it in a creepy way.

      A band shirt, much like one for a sports team, a movie, whatever, is essentially an advertisement for whatever it is. Even if it isn’t tied to a product of any kind, when you have words and pictures on your clothing, it will catch the eye because that’s just how most people work. We thrive on visual stimulation, and even the most introverted people do, it isn’t about that.

      Now, if you factor in neurodivergence, you can run into folks that don’t fit the “norm” in that regard, and you may have folks with other facets of self that interfere with visual stimulation. But that still leaves billions of people that will see something on clothing and their brain pays extra attention over a pattern or solid color.

      Humans, whether we more introverted sorts like it or not, are social creatures. And I am, btw, in person. I don’t necessarily thrive on heavy social interaction, but that doesn’t mean that I’m antisocial, and there’s a difference. But we still need human interaction, and we still have brains that latch onto things like pictures and words. The key is managing the interactions, being honest about boundaries, and being pleasant about it.

      Back to the original point though. Wearing something like a band shirt is essentially saying “hey, look at this”. It’s inevitable and normal for people to look at such things. It’s normal and inevitable that the viewers’ brains are going to be making connections, and when that connection is to something they enjoy, they get a little dopamine hit, and possibly a little oxytocin as well (the stuff I’m pulling this from isn’t exactly recent enough for me to source, and I’ve never seen follow up data on the oxytocin, but this is casual talk).

      Our brains reward us for making connections like that, and most people will do a little harmless granfallooning (I’m going to let anyone that comes along look that up and hopefully find a connection there) and feel a little closer to another human. That’s a good thing. It’s that ability to find connections with strangers that represents the best parts of humanity.

      And, it’s okay if you prefer not to be bothered. You can even wear stuff like that, and as long as you add something saying you don’t want to talk, you’ll be bothered less. Mind you, you’ll likely run into a smaller group of people that are also not outgoing, and see a connection there and bother you because of that, but hopefully in a pleasant way.

      Besides, have you not ever seen how people get when they receive positive, pleasant attention to their clothes? I promise you, just a friendly, “nice shirt, dude” as you walk past someone looking sharp will surprise most, but they’ll be smiling and likely have a better day because of it. I promise, as long as you’re genuine and smiling when you say it, even most introverts will have a slightly better day because of it.

      But, I acknowledge that not everyone enjoys that kind of thing. Believe me, when my PTSD is riding me hard, and I’m forced into the public, I can’t really handle strangers well. So I get it. But the act of reaching out to another human in a positive way isn’t creepy.