Hello all, I am a 39M whose wife (42F) was just diagnosed with ADHD. We’ve had a suspicion ever since our 6 year old was diagnosed and we started doing a deep dive into it and realizing a lot of the symptoms fit her. Even some of the memes from this community helped her to start looking into it herself. She is relieved to find out she’s not just ‘a disorganized slob’, that there is a reason for her struggles, but now the real work begins.
My question is: what do you wish your partner would have known/done for you? I want to be as supportive as possible and make sure I’m not contributing to any negative feelings, and help her find ways to build coping mechanisms. Just looking for any advice!
the main thing i try to do for my partner is nip the self recrimination in the bud. When they are really beating on themselves I ask them: ‘what would you say to our kid if they were feeling like this?’ and that usually helps them see it in a different perspective.
also reminding them that they don’t have to apologize for who they are, my partner says sorry a lot for things out of their control.
they didn’t get diagnosed until later in life and they internalized a lot of the crap society placed on them when they were younger.